


A word has its memories, and a memory has its words

by MerlinMerlot



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Beau Week 2019, Big battle, Character Study, Childhood Memories, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 06:59:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18633124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerlinMerlot/pseuds/MerlinMerlot
Summary: She was in darkness. Cloaking darkness, whispering and familiar. Silence.There was a word on her lips, a memory in her touch. Silence.





	A word has its memories, and a memory has its words

**Author's Note:**

> This was for beau week day 7! It was supposed to be a bit of a combination of today's prompt and the prompt I missed (hurt/comfort), but there wasn't as much found family as I would have liked. Still, I hope you enjoy!

Fuck.

How eloquent the word was. Fuck. It slipped between her phrases easily, a snack between meals, a purposeful four letter word with all the variety she needed.

It defied her parents, her tutors, anyone who had any sensible rich ass manners about them. It was the easiest way to split a conversation, make an enemy with an uptight asshole, and keep acting like the dick people knew her to be.

It was also a pretty tight curse too, and a verb, adverb, and however else Beau could fucking find a way to use it. She almost found pride in it. She loved how she could define her life and set her path with just one word - among others.

"Holy fuck!" Beau felt herself reeling, and then she's flying, 5, 15, 25 feet until the stone wall cracks against her spine. She let out another half shout, half curse, as the searing pain across her back exploded against the crumbling rock. 

Beau was used to pain, used to the consistency of it, the 'fucks' and the wiping of blood and the broken ribs and bruised knuckles. She was used to falling down, over, and over, and she's used to always getting back up, no matter the hit. 

-

"Fuck off!" Beau froze, word catching on her throat before it released, like the air was tightening around her throat. "Uh-"

"Beau-re-GARD!" Her mother loomed, and Beau could feel herself shrinking in the gaze, what courage and spunk she had left slowly fading. "I can't believe it! Where did you get that mouth?!" 

Beau let out another curse as her ear was unceremoniously pulled to the side. "I'm very disappointed, Beauregard. First, you utterly disobey our orders. And now you disobey our manners? What has gotten in to you, girl?" Her father's eyes were like black holes, catching onto whatever they could find and pulling it in.

"Maybe I just wanted to have a little fun," Beau muttered half heartedly, struggling to keep her footing as she was continually pulled to the left. 

"Fun? Is that what you consider fun?" Her mother stepped back, letting go as she let out a frustrated noise. "That is, that is not what our family does. You should know this!"

"I understand you're going through a phase, we've all had those moments, Beauregard." Beau gritted her teeth as her father motioned, her fists tightening around dry blood. "But you need to understand that we have other priorities. You're going to have a business to run, and you have to be ready."

"But what if I don't want to run our stupid business?" Beau snapped, finally meeting her father's gaze. "Maybe I want to do something else, and not be stuck here in this... this fucking town!"

She ripped away from her mother's reaching hand. "I hate you! And I'm never going to come back!"

"Beauregard!" Her parents voices blurred as beau dashed away, scrambling for the door and into the dirt and darkness and darkness, voices echoing and mumbling and collapsing into one.

 

She was in darkness. Cloaking darkness, whispering and familiar. Silence.

"Beau..." Echoes, and echoes, like she was on cliffs yet mountains and valleys all at once. There was a smile, laughter in the distance. Green. A feeling on her lips. Stone skin. Was she breathing, oh god was her heart even beating?

"Beau!"

And then everything imploded into itself once more.

The battle, the fighting, there was Nott shooting crossbow bolts at a pissed off monster that scrambled around the darkening cave. Fjord ducked as a tail wrenched its way into view, flicking out a hand to send another eldritch blast in its wake. Caduceus was practically attached to the wall, stone sticking to his back as he held the barely withstanding bless upon the party, whom fought against the being that clawed and screamed.

But there was also a familiar face, one right in her vision, following Beau's expression with features she knew all too well. Purple eyes, button nose, freckles and curving horns. Emotions that flickered from concern to relief to determined optimism.

"Jes... What happe-"

"Stay right here, Beau! We gotta kill this monster, ok? Stay here and be safe!" Jester stood up, stepping forward to take a wide stance above Beau. Her hands circled a large, bright light, that streaked toward the monster with a sudden deafening pop, like sound itself couldn't keep up. 

The beast's skin bubbled from the heated pressure of the light, stumbling into a roll hastily dodged by Yasha. Caleb took the moment to send another fireball in its wake, crumbling the already darkening skin into paste. A clawed, beastly paw collided into Nott, who managed to not be flung by holding onto the fur with all her might. 

Beau could feel the pain still soaring through her body. But she had to get up. She had to make sure her friends would survive. She took a step. Then another. The lightning about her knuckles electrified her veins as she cracked her fists together. 

But the winged death, Yasha, sliced the monster into 2. The two parts almost seemed whole, until red, raw monster meat sloshed onto the ground, head lolling against bloodied rock. It was over before Beau could even lift a finger.

Like most fights, there was a moment of lingering caution and adrenaline, as the party readied for some other monstrosity to make itself know to them. But it never came.

Beau collapsed once more against gravel wall, exhaustion kicking in, an exhaustion she didn't quite recognize.

"Fuck." How well it explained her situation, how acutely it described how she was feeling, yet it did so without all the seriousness and the emotions and the vulnerableness.

"Beau!" And the team gathered around her, and she had a feeling this wasn't like the last times she went down. No, this was different.

"Did I... Shit, did I die?" Beau winced, holding her head. "Ugh. Fucking felt awful. Definitely not what it's cracked up to me."

The party exchanged flickering glances, before Caleb grabbed a hold of Beau's arm and tried to get her up to her feet. "Eh, well, you're fine now, Beauregard. Now let's get you a place to rest." 

"Yeah, we all need to sleep. And, uh, your ribs still look broken as all hell," Fjord huffed, and Cad quickly waved a hand around Beau to heal some of the worst injuries. "Damn, that fight was something else."

"We've been having many of those lately," Nott murmured.

Beau turned to look at Jes, who took a hold of her once it became known that Caleb did not have the strength for it. "Thanks, Jessie. For, uh, reviving me."

"Oh, well, you know, just cleric stuff," Jester laughed and beamed, but Beau could see the acute pain flickering across her eyes. It was a strained look Beau had become attuned to. "But your welcome, Beau! I'm always glad to save you whenever.

"Did you, like, see anything weird? Oh, maybe you saw the traveler! Did you? He would totally want to meet you."

"Well... Maybe." Beau sighed, reaching out to touch Jester's arm. "I'll explain in the morning, okay?"

"Sounds good!" Jester planted a kiss on Beau's forehead, before leading her away from the battle field. "... But promise me you won't die anytime soon, okay?"

"I'll do it for you, Jes." 

 

It's too bad 'fuck' never drove away the mighty nein.

**Author's Note:**

> It was really fun to explore Beau's character with this. I'm glad I was able to do a writing piece for beau week!


End file.
